Rebel With A Cause
by her name is erika
Summary: It's not her. She's the good girl. / Or, in which for once in her life, Mattie rebels. ReedMattie [Mattie-centric]


**Rebel With A Cause  
central character:** Mathilda Ashby  
 **show:** Young and the Restless **  
summary:** It's not her. She's the good girl. / Or, in which for once in her life, Mattie rebels. ReedMattie [Mattie-centric] **  
notes:** This took me three days to write. Just something I wanted to get out of my system. Something that played out on the show this week kinda inspired me. I don't think this will mirror anything on-screen but I won't be surprised if it does. Forgive any typos. **  
disclaimer:** Nothing is remotely mine. Just the plot. I'm not expecting anything monetary either. I just do it for fun.

* * *

She's going to do this. Mattie is really going to have her first instance of rebellion.

It's not her. She's the good girl, the girl who keeps things organized. She doesn't like messes or disorder. Mattie is the one who will run from disarray or hides from it, but then she thinks this kind of rebellion is for a good reason. She's not in love with Reed. She doesn't think that far. This may sound selfish and even obtuse and narrow-minded, but it's her life. She isn't old enough to vote but she is old enough to make her own decisions, make her own choices and put up with whatever consequences are there. Mattie's life is what she hates. Her parents go from the picture of true love to a picture of tension and weirdness she can't process or like.

Mattie isn't stupid. She knows divorce may be a possibility. It's so frustrating to pretend everything is okay. It's so difficult to look at her be strong for her and Charlie when she cries at night alone. It makes her angry that she has to look at her father and he's not her hero anymore, yet she misses her. Mattie misses their family. Mattie misses the happiness in the house. She misses the laughter. She just wants to get out of here, so she will.

She's into Reed. He understands what she's going through. He's the one who angers her dad but he doesn't blame her for it. It's nice to text him throughout the day. When Mattie is at the library and so concentrated, it feels nice to laugh at some stupid inside joke only she understands with him. Reed makes her feel good, sane and if she's being honest, he likes who she is and appreciates it. He doesn't expect anything from her. When she's mocked for being smart, Reed tells her how cool it is. When people roll her eyes for working towards her building the future she wants, Reed stares at her in awe and tells her she's the most unique person he knows.

In turn, she's impressed with his music and the talent he has with it. Mattie won't admit it but she can't feel insecure and something like jealousy when his groupies flock him. It's not like he's her boyfriend. They just hang out and are friends. Listening to him play and his confidence up there makes her smile. But she can't help but blush when Reed tells her she matters more than his groupies because he can forget them. _I can't forget you, Mattie. I don't want to._

Reed is a good guy, an even better person. He's only crime is being Victoria Newman's son. Mattie tries to focus on the words on the page of her essay outline and tries to fix her thesis so she can argue it. It's easier than arguing about whether she's allowed to see Reed.

She can't lose any more than she already does.

In that moment makes a decision while glancing at her window. Thankfully, her house doesn't have a second floor.

—

Mattie sighs, biting her lip. Her phone feels super glued to her ear.

"Pick up, Gabby. Pick up —"

Her best friend is Gabby Santiago. They share almost every class together, study together and trade study notes in between of sharing a tub of Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough ice-cream. When they don't study, Mattie sleeps over at her house and sometimes, she does the same here. Charlie hits on her but Mattie throws him out despite Gabby blushing. He's allegedly dating vapid Zoey but she doesn't care about Charlie's love life. Whatever it means. There are more serious things.

However, Mattie's heart hammers so hard it feels like it will stop. It won't.

"Hey, Mattie…" Gabby finally answers, and it sounds like she's sleeping.

"Sorry," Mattie says, apologetically. "Did I wake you?"

Gabby yawns over the phone, "Yeah, but I don't mind. I was just taking a power nap before I got back to the AP Chemistry assignment. Have you started?"

Mattie looks back at her trigonometry homework and resists the urge to sigh. Of course, there's the chemistry assignment, not yet touched. This is the one class she doesn't have a class for. She's trying out the Independent Study method and discovers that she likes it.

"No," Mattie admits, honestly. She can only handle so many lies when she's about to commit one herself. Maybe, she muses darkly, she is her father's daughter that way. But Mattie likes to think even though she doesn't know her grandmother, she can channel Drucilla Winters. A woman her mother tells her is fierce, beautiful and a woman who won't take anything from anybody. Tonight, she won't take anyone telling her who to see and when. Not tonight and there's a high possibility she won't tolerate that ever. "I haven't, but I need a favour."

"Okay," Gabby shifts around as evidenced by the muffled sound. "What kinda favour?"

She looks at her open window and rushes to close the door. Even though it's an impulsive idea to use her window to sneak out, part of Mattie wants to be sure the execution is flawless.

"It's…" she trails off, Samsung Galaxy Note 8 still pressed to her ear. "I need you to cover for me. Just tell my mom I'm hanging out with you tonight."

"I'm sorry…what?"

"Shhh! My mom's in the house!" Mattie shushes in a whisper.

"I'm sorry," Gabby's voice isn't sleepy sounding and she sighs. "You're sneaking out. When have you _ever_ done that? It's not you."

Mattie rolls her eyes with an aggravated sigh, "Well, a lot of things aren't me right now. You're my best friend. I need you to cover for me. Sarah's not home for the night because she's with her boyfriend and your parents are in Chicago. Just this once, lie. I'll figure it out the next time."

She knows Gabby pauses and she hates it.

"There's a next time?"

"Yes," Mattie says, confidently, because Reed feels the same.

"Please, Gabby. There's a lot of intense crap here right here. I just want to be normal again," Mattie explains quickly. "When my mom calls you, tell her I'm with you. I never do anything wrong. I'm always the good girl who follows the rules. I'm realizing how exhausting it is. Just do this for me."

"Fine," Gabby agrees, on a quiet sigh. "I'll do it. I'm sorry things are rough for you."

"I'm not."

"Okay, but you owe me."

"What do you want?"

"I want to kiss Charlie. Just once to know what it feels like."

Mattie wrinkles her nose. "Eww. Seriously?"

"Yes. Your brother is so cute," her best friend says, adamantly and so seriously it borders on disturbing. Charlie can be called several adjectives. Most of them by her because it's a twin thing, but Gabby calling him cute is weird. Even for her. "Take it or leave it."

Speaking of Charlie, Mattie walks over to the window to let her eyes scan whether Charlie comes home or is headed here. If Charlie does find out, he will go back to antagonizing Reed which, will in turn, annoy her. Her father basically throws him out. Her mother uses that nice and gentle way of letting her know she agrees and shouldn't see Reed because of problems she doesn't ask for. It's unfair. Why should _she_ suffer? When unfairness happens, is it wrong to correct it? Susan B. Anthony fights for women's right to vote. The waves of feminism are built on women fighting for equality. Not to say that hanging out with Reed is a widespread social movement, but still, he's is worth fighting for on some level.

Mattie rolls her eyes with a quiet heaving sigh. "Okay. I'll work on Charlie."

—

Mattie stands, puts her phone in her back pocket. She takes a breath to settle her nerves and apprehension away. Mattie wishes for a minuscule moment she can experience what it means to drink underage because liquid courage is so needed right now.

Mattie exhales again, "You can do this. You can do this."

She pulls out her phone and stares at a text from Reed, a couple hours ago. Mattie closes her eyes, weighing the pros and cons. Cons tell her she'll be in trouble, probably be grounded and get a lecture for going against her parents. She can see Charlie's look of shock The pros of her internal argument tell her that if she doesn't take the risk, there will be no reward.

Charlie can cover for her or he can choose not to. She doesn't care.

 _Mom working late at B &S. Sitter watching lil bro and lil sis. Meet at the usual spot? _

She bites back a smile. Mattie texts with a light laugh because she doesn't care. Not tonight. Maybe for once, not ever.

 _See you in 15 :)_

Mattie pockets her phone and her keys. She pulls her light blue Converses on her feet because sandals don't make good footwear for climbing out of the window. She opens her window as quietly as she can. Mattie can hear her mom in the living and Charlie isn't home yet from some jock related thing she can't bother with. She glances back at her room, the place where good girls stay. It's where things have a place for everything. Her books are in order by size and author on her book shelf. Her laptop is in the corner and even her study board is colourful with post-its, thumb tacks and a calendar to maintain carefully laid academic plans. Mattie looks at her sky blue daily planner overflowing with she needs to do days, weeks and months from now.

The cool air hits her face and the sun is almost gone.

She won't let her chance to be with Reed and see him be gone, too. It's not fair for him to be punished for something he can't control. Moreover, it's not fair for her to be penalized for experiencing what it's like to be with someone that way. Kissing Reed is nice and she won't apologize for liking it.

Adrenaline. That's what she feels as she swings her leg up through the open window, swings the other until she's outside and then jumps. She lands on her feet and gets up, craning her neck and adjusting her glasses to make sure her mom is truly in the house. She is. Mattie stays out of sight but sees her mom get up from the couch and move to the kitchen.

Mattie rests a hand against the rough surface of her house. The adrenaline floats to her head and she becomes dizzy with anticipation. It's a good kind of dizziness and it's the best feeling ever. She looks around her to check if her dad isn't about to come around again. She cranes her neck to make sure Charlie doesn't just suddenly reappear and make her jump out of her skin. Mattie also hopes her mom isn't quick enough to realize she's not in her room, finishing her Advanced Trigonometry III homework.

She's clear. The coast is clear and the adrenaline pumping through her body magnifies in intensity. Summer wind blows Mattie's curls and brushes her skin as she sprints to who makes her feel normal and a place only she can find.

—

There's a little white gazebo that is found by accident at Chancellor Park. It's away from the main space of the park but not so far away that it's secluded. When she's done studying at the park's café, Mattie likes to go there to read whether it's _Wuthering Heights_ , _Gone With the Wind_ and currently, the _Game of Thrones_ series. She's surprised when Reed talks a peaceful place where he goes to write music if he's not at The Underground or at home. He can't get much done at home anyway, but he has to be in big brother mode. It surprises her that he's referring to her favourite reading spot. Ever since then, that gazebo doesn't belong to just Mattie or just Reed. She shares it and it becomes theirs.

She pads through the grass and comes through a path she walks through many time until she reaches it. Mattie sees him, a leather bound journal in his lap and brow furrowed in concentration. His black guitar case is leaning against the wall. She almost doesn't want to disturb how peaceful he looks. This is how she must look when she's in some literary place only she knows the journey to. This is what someone looks like when they are in the middle of their passion.

Mattie greets him with a smile. "Hey, Reed."

He raises his head to meet her eyes and matches her smile with a bright grin. Greek mythology holds her current interest. It occurs to her that she's standing in front of a boy reminding her of Apollo: his guitar acting as a modern-day lyre and warmth equivalent of the sun.

—

"Hey," he greets, closing his journal as she sits next to him. He puts it in his guitar case and zips it shut. "You know, I was beginning to think you'd stand me up."

"Then I climbed out of my window for nothing."

Reed looks like her, genuinely surprised. "What? No way! You didn't."

"Yeah. I did. I snuck out of my window when my mom was in the kitchen and ran here. Sort of." Mattie admits that, still feeling the remnants of her adrenaline. She can't fathom herself being so impulsive but then again, she can. This time, she really can. She glances down and tucks a loose curl behind a double pierced ear before meeting his amused face.

"Holy shit. You're a badass."

"I guess," Mattie replies, with a wry smile. "I meant it when we agreed to still see each other without our parents having to know. I don't know what will happen but I…just want to be with you. And um, I did like kissing you."

"That's awesome because," Reed admits with a light smile on his lips, taking her hand. She glances down at the way hers fits in his and questions why it's not noticeable before. It gives her safety, "I liked it too."

"I still don't think it's fair that our parents' feud should affect us."

"Right?" Reed agrees with a sigh. "It's totally shitty."

Mattie grows quiet and agrees, silently. It's a bad circumstance but it's nice being in this place with Reed. Her impulsive behaviour has already got her here. It is also a circumstance that has her fingers interlocked with his and her eyes glued a sunset. The sky is one of reds, yellows, pinks, purples with blues on the edges. Scientifically, a sunset is caused particles in the atmosphere changing the direction of light. It's like different actions change how she and Reed are and she lets her trepidation scatter while working to figure it out.

"You know, before you got here. I was messing around with some lyrics."

She looks at him and watches the serene expression of his face, as his eyes are fixed on the same sunset she's looking at.

"On what?"

He shrugs, "Sunrises and sunsets. Well, the stuff in between."

"How profound."

"You think?" Reed inquires, turning to her.

Mattie nods in affirmation, "There are beginnings and endings but it's the middle that matters. I'm new to this whole living in the moment thing and—"

Mattie only stops talking because a pair of familiar lips are on hers. She can't talk and the wheels in her head stop in the middle of spinning fast. They don't move ever again. All she knows is that she wants to kiss him back. So, she does. Mattie kisses Reed and can't help but smile against his mouth, his hand against her cheek. For a brief moment, Mattie's breathless and she has to figure out what happens. She knows that physically it's a kiss and she does it before. Emotionally, Mattie has to catch up from behaving viscerally just now.

"See," Reed says, softly and tucks another curl behind her other ear this time, "you're not bad at this _living in the moment_ stuff for a beginner."

"Shut up. I'm not that much of a goody-goody two shoes," Mattie defends and swats his arm and then she gets tentative. "Wait. Am I?"

"Yes, you are," Reed says, seriously. He smiles at her and it reaches his blue eyes. Mattie thinks he has nice eyes and they could be her favourite kind of blue. "It's why I like hanging out with you."

"I have to admit it that it was a rush to climb out of my window," she glances down at his hand in hers, a silver ring on his middle finger sparkling back at her. It's hit by a light she can't find. "I learn things fast and it's realizing it's relatively easy. Just like it's easy to be with you."

It's her turn to kiss him this time. Mattie's fingers interlock with Reed's and she leans into him, the sky no longer full of colours but shades of blue.

—

 _fin._


End file.
